How do you feel about networking? If you’re like a lot of people, some of the words that come to mind are: Icky. Fake. Awkward. Scary. Intimidating. Mystifying.
We’re told that networking is good for us, but deep down it makes some of us feel like we’re trying to make selling sound less salesy. Even if we like the idea of networking, many of us find it intimidating because we’re introverts, or we have no idea how to do it, or we see others who look so natural and we’re sure they have a talent we just don’t have.
So before we get to talking about how to take the work out of networking, let’s address some of these concerns by talking about what networking is, and what it isn’t.
What Networking Is—and Isn’t
Let’s address the negatives first by talking about what networking isn’t.
- Networking isn’t about bringing in another sale. Networking does lead to sales. In fact, up to 80% of your business can come from networking and referrals. But networking isn’t about the hard sell. Networking isn’t a numbers game. People who run around an event collecting business cards or connecting on LinkedIn with everyone they meet might have a lot of business cards and LinkedIn connections, but it doesn’t mean they have a network.
- Networking isn’t a numbers game. People who run around an event collecting business cards or connecting on LinkedIn with everyone they meet might have a lot of business cards and LinkedIn connections, but it doesn’t mean they have a network.
- Networking isn’t about who you know. If networking isn’t about how many people you know, then it must be about who you know, right? Nope. People don’t refer businesses; they refer people. If you don’t make a personal connection with the people you’re meeting, all you are is a business.
So if networking isn’t any of those things, what is it?
- Networking is about relationships. It’s about how well you know someone. It’s about getting to know them and letting them get to know you. It’s about sharing your challenges and goals in a sincere way.
- Networking is about serving. People go to networking events because they want introductions and opportunities that lead to business. Be the person who helps them get that. When you invest in someone and help them meet their goals and solve their challenges, they’re more likely to invest in your and help you meet your goals and solve your challenges.
- Networking is a long game. Networking is more like farming than hunting: You’re planting seeds that will grow into a bountiful harvest. Going to one networking event won’t necessarily boost your bottom line, but going to the right events and setting down deep roots definitely will.
Go deep. That’s the phrase I want you to keep in mind. It’s at the heart of making networking work for you. Out of two to three networks, what you’re looking for is six to eight strategic partners that can make a difference for your business.
So how do you take the work out of networking and grow the kind of deep, invested connections that you need and want? You take these six steps:
Step 1: Pick the Right Networks for You
There are a lot of networks out there: professional, trade and industry associations; business referral networks like BNI; your local chamber of commerce; alumni organizations, community and service organizations; even social media networks. You could join them all, but you want to go deep and choose the two or three that will best serve you by:
- Having members you want to connect with. These are people who are your target market or have access to your target market. If you’re a custom builder, you might get great referrals from a wedding photographer because newlyweds are often looking to buy their first home.
- Offering high-quality networking opportunities. You could join an organization chockful of amazing potential referral partners, but if they never get together you’ll never get to know any of them.
- Having a welcoming culture. Breaking into a new organization can be hard; be sure the ones you join make it easy to make connections and give you opportunities to get involved.
Step 2: Pick the Right Events for You
The strongest organizations usually offer a lot of great events, but if you fill your calendar with everything they offer, you’ll get overwhelmed and burned out. Instead, be purposeful about which events you attend.
- Know what events the organization offers. Most organizations have set recurring events like monthly meetings, committee meetings and networking opportunities. They’ll also have one-off or annual events like educational programs, workshops and seminars, tradeshows and conferences, charitable events and golf tournaments.
- Know who you want to connect with and what events they attend. This may take some trial and error, but be patient and purposeful and you’ll learn which events are the best-fit for you.
- Don’t spread yourself too thin. Two or three recurring events per network is plenty. If you find yourself not making the connections you want, you’re probably at the wrong events. Remember: Go deep. It’s better to get deeply involved in a few events than skim through a bunch of them.
Step 3: Have a Plan for Before a Networking Event
Once you’ve picked the right kind of events, be sure you make the most of them. Having a plan for what to do before an event prepares you to get value from the event and helps calm your nerves.
- Cultivate the right mindset. Getting yourself in the right frame of mind has a huge impact on how you feel and how well you network. Don’t go in with a selling mindset. Remember that networking is about relationships.
- Know your purpose. If there are specific people you want to connect with or specific people you want to connect with others, know who they are. If you won’t know anyone in the room, go with the goal of meeting two or three people and getting to know them.
- Prepare your message. Have an idea of how to answer when someone asks about you and your business. Practice before you go so you sound comfortable and.
- Extend an invitation. Invite a friend or colleague to go with you to the event. Going tandem is always more fun than going solo; it’s also a great chance to go deeper with someone you already know.
Step 4: Have a Plan for During a Networking Event
It’s easy to skim through an event collecting business cards, but remember that we want to go deep. Building relationships takes time and intention, so make the most of each event by having a plan for what to do while you’re there.
- Arrive early. Getting there first gives you a chance to take the lay of the land and enables you to act as a host of sorts by greeting people as they come in. Welcoming someone who has just stepped in is always easier than approaching a group of people already in conversation.
- Ask questions. After introducing yourself to someone new, turn the conversation to them. Learn about them, their business and their challenges; ask why they’ve come to this particular event and what they hope to get from it. Be an active listener.
- Serve, don’t sell. Once you’ve learned what someone’s goal for the event is or what challenge they’re trying to solve, introduce them to others at the event who can help them achieve that goal or meet that challenge.
- Extend an invitation. Don’t collect a mass of business cards, but do collect contact information for the people you’re building relationships with. Connect with them on LinkedIn or other social media, and don’t be afraid to make the first move by inviting them out for coffee or to another event.
Step 5: Have a Plan for After a Networking Event
The true benefits of networking come after an event, when you take the next step in deepening the relationships you started cultivating at the event.
- Reach out afterward. The days of writing thank you cards may be gone, but that doesn’t mean your grandma wasn’t right about expressing appreciation. After the event, reach out to those you talked to via email, text or social media to let them know how much you enjoyed getting to know them. If you haven’t already invited them to have coffee or join you at another event, do so now.
- Find a way to assist. Help someone you met at the event make a connection with someone else you know; send an article you think they’d find interesting; or even just extend the conversation you had at the event with a few additional thoughts or ideas.
- Go deep, not wide. Remember: Building long-term relationships takes time. You don’t need to reach out to every single person you met. Choose two or three people you would like to cultivate a deeper connection with and focus on developing warm, trusting, memorable relationships with them.
Step 6: Keep Being Purposeful
You put a lot of thought into choosing the right network and the right events. You planned what to do before, during and after. Now it’s just rinse-and-repeat, right? Not quite.
Every once in a while—every couple of months or every quarter—take a few minutes to evaluate your networks. Ask yourself:
- Are the events I’m attending working for me? Do I enjoy them, and do they help me meet the kinds of people I need and want to meet?
- Am I developing mutually beneficial relationships with people I can help and who can help me?
- Am I seeing a positive impact on my bottom line? That is, are my networking efforts bringing in business—or are they on track to bring in business?
If your answer to any of these questions is no, decide if there’s something you can do to improve your approach or if it’s time to move on and try different events or even a different network altogether.
*BONUS Step* Get Involved!
In all of my years of networking, the best connections I’ve made—hands down—have been when I got involved. Let me share an example of how I initially volunteered in an association at a low level, then stepped it up from there.
I love working with membership, so first I joined the membership committee, helping the association grow through member drives and other efforts. From there, I became an ambassador, sharing the value of the association with the outside world. Then I got involved in running new member orientation, helping new members get value from their membership. Each step of the way, I increased my participation in a way that was comfortable to me. I also got the chance to meet so many new people—and so many potential strategic partners.
Organizations run off volunteers, so when you get involved in one you’re helping that organization grow and thrive—which means more high-quality networking opportunities for you! So join a committee; volunteer to help with an event. However you do it, get involved!
Bringing It All Together to Take the WORK Out of Networking
Here are two truths I’ve learned over almost three decades of networking:
Truth #1: Successful networkers never wing it. They understand what networking can accomplish, and they make a plan to achieve that.
Truth #2: Anyone can be a successful networker. I mean anyone. Extroverts, introverts, experienced or not, you can take the WORK out of networking by following these steps:
- Pick the right networks for you: two or three that have the kinds of members you can cultivate six to eight strategic partners from.
- Pick two to three recurring events that are right for you.
- Have a plan for before a networking event, to get the most value and calm your nerves.
- Have a plan for during a networking event, to help you connect effectively with the people you want to meet.
- Have a plan for after a networking event, to help you go deep with those relationships you’re building.
- Keep being purposeful so that your networks and events continue to work for you.
Don’t forget the BONUS Step: Get involved! Giving back is powerful, and working with other volunteers gives you an easy context for going deep and getting to know other people.
Networking is one of my favorite topics, and it’s so important that one of my most popular talks is How to Take the WORK Out of Networking®. I would love to share this talk with your business or association, or talk to you one-on-one about how you can become a master networker. Please
